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Twelfth Night - Act 1, scene 5
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Twelfth Night - Act 1, scene 5Act 1, scene 5
Scene 5
Synopsis:
Viola, in her disguise as Cesario, appears at Olivia’s estate. Olivia allows Cesario to speak with her privately about Orsino’s love. As Cesario presents Orsino’s love-suit, Olivia falls in love with Cesario. She sends her steward, Malvolio, after Cesario with a ring.
Enter Maria and ⌜Feste, the Fool.⌝MARIA 0296 Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I
0297 will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter
p.
27
0298
in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang thee for thy0299 absence.
FOOL 0300 5Let her hang me. He that is well hanged in this
0301 world needs to fear no colors.
MARIA 0302 Make that good.
FOOL 0303 He shall see none to fear.
MARIA 0304 A good Lenten answer. I can tell thee where
0305 10 that saying was born, of “I fear no colors.”
FOOL 0306 Where, good Mistress Mary?
MARIA 0307 In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in
0308 your foolery.
FOOL 0309 Well, God give them wisdom that have it, and
0310 15 those that are Fools, let them use their talents.
MARIA 0311 Yet you will be hanged for being so long absent.
0312 Or to be turned away, is not that as good as a
0313 hanging to you?
FOOL 0314 Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage,
0315 20 and, for turning away, let summer bear it out.
MARIA 0316 You are resolute, then?
FOOL 0317 Not so, neither, but I am resolved on two points.
MARIA 0318 That if one break, the other will hold, or if both
0319 break, your gaskins fall.
FOOL 0320 25Apt, in good faith, very apt. Well, go thy way. If Sir
0321 Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a
0322 piece of Eve’s flesh as any in Illyria.
MARIA 0323 Peace, you rogue. No more o’ that. Here comes
0324 my lady. Make your excuse wisely, you were best.
⌜She exits.⌝
Enter Lady Olivia with Malvolio ⌜and Attendants.⌝
FOOL, ⌜aside⌝ 0325 30Wit, an ’t be thy will, put me into good
0326 fooling! Those wits that think they have thee do very
0327 oft prove fools, and I that am sure I lack thee may
0328 pass for a wise man. For what says Quinapalus?
0329 “Better a witty Fool than a foolish wit.”—God bless
0330 35 thee, lady!
p.
29
OLIVIA
0331
Take the Fool away.FOOL 0332 Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the Lady.
OLIVIA 0333 Go to, you’re a dry Fool. I’ll no more of you.
0334 Besides, you grow dishonest.
FOOL 0335 40Two faults, madonna, that drink and good counsel
0336 will amend. For give the dry Fool drink, then is
0337 the Fool not dry. Bid the dishonest man mend
0338 himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he
0339 cannot, let the botcher mend him. Anything that’s
0340 45 mended is but patched; virtue that transgresses is
0341 but patched with sin, and sin that amends is but
0342 patched with virtue. If that this simple syllogism
0343 will serve, so; if it will not, what remedy? As there is
0344 no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty’s a flower.
0345 50 The Lady bade take away the Fool. Therefore, I say
0346 again, take her away.
OLIVIA 0347 Sir, I bade them take away you.
FOOL 0348 Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, cucullus
0349 non facit monachum. That’s as much to say as, I
0350 55 wear not motley in my brain. Good madonna, give
0351 me leave to prove you a fool.
OLIVIA 0352 Can you do it?
FOOL 0353 Dexteriously, good madonna.
OLIVIA 0354 Make your proof.
FOOL 0355 60I must catechize you for it, madonna. Good my
0356 mouse of virtue, answer me.
OLIVIA 0357 Well, sir, for want of other idleness, I’ll bide
0358 your proof.
FOOL 0359 Good madonna, why mourn’st thou?
OLIVIA 0360 65Good Fool, for my brother’s death.
FOOL 0361 I think his soul is in hell, madonna.
OLIVIA 0362 I know his soul is in heaven, Fool.
FOOL 0363 The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your
0364 brother’s soul, being in heaven. Take away the fool,
0365 70 gentlemen.
OLIVIA 0366 What think you of this Fool, Malvolio? Doth he
0367 not mend?
p.
31
MALVOLIO
0368
Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death0369 shake him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth
0370 75 ever make the better Fool.
FOOL 0371 God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the
0372 better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn
0373 that I am no fox, but he will not pass his word for
0374 twopence that you are no fool.
OLIVIA 0375 80How say you to that, Malvolio?
MALVOLIO 0376 I marvel your Ladyship takes delight in
0377 such a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other
0378 day with an ordinary fool that has no more brain
0379 than a stone. Look you now, he’s out of his guard
0380 85 already. Unless you laugh and minister occasion to
0381 him, he is gagged. I protest I take these wise men
0382 that crow so at these set kind of Fools no better than
0383 the Fools’ zanies.
OLIVIA 0384 O, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste
0385 90 with a distempered appetite. To be generous, guiltless,
0386 and of free disposition is to take those things
0387 for bird-bolts that you deem cannon bullets. There
0388 is no slander in an allowed Fool, though he do
0389 nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet
0390 95 man, though he do nothing but reprove.
FOOL 0391 Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou
0392 speak’st well of Fools!
Enter Maria.
MARIA 0393 Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman
0394 much desires to speak with you.
OLIVIA 0395 100From the Count Orsino, is it?
MARIA 0396 I know not, madam. ’Tis a fair young man, and
0397 well attended.
OLIVIA 0398 Who of my people hold him in delay?
MARIA 0399 Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.
OLIVIA 0400 105Fetch him off, I pray you. He speaks nothing
0401 but madman. Fie on him! ⌜Maria exits.⌝ Go you,
0402 Malvolio. If it be a suit from the Count, I am sick,
p.
33
0403
or not at home; what you will, to dismiss it. (Malvolioexits.) 0404 Now you see, sir, how your fooling
0405 110 grows old, and people dislike it.
FOOL 0406 Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest
0407 son should be a Fool, whose skull Jove cram with
0408 brains, for—here he comes—one of thy kin has a
0409 most weak pia mater.
Enter Sir Toby.
OLIVIA 0410 115By mine honor, half drunk!—What is he at the
0411 gate, cousin?
TOBY 0412 A gentleman.
OLIVIA 0413 A gentleman? What gentleman?
TOBY 0414 ’Tis a gentleman here—a plague o’ these pickle
0415 120 herring!—How now, sot?
FOOL 0416 Good Sir Toby.
OLIVIA 0417 Cousin, cousin, how have you come so early by
0418 this lethargy?
TOBY 0419 Lechery? I defy lechery. There’s one at the gate.
OLIVIA 0420 125Ay, marry, what is he?
TOBY 0421 Let him be the devil an he will, I care not. Give
0422 me faith, say I. Well, it’s all one.He exits.
OLIVIA 0423 What’s a drunken man like, Fool?
FOOL 0424 Like a drowned man, a fool, and a madman. One
0425 130 draught above heat makes him a fool, the second
0426 mads him, and a third drowns him.
OLIVIA 0427 Go thou and seek the crowner and let him sit o’
0428 my coz, for he’s in the third degree of drink: he’s
0429 drowned. Go look after him.
FOOL 0430 135He is but mad yet, madonna, and the Fool shall
0431 look to the madman.⌜He exits.⌝
Enter Malvolio.
MALVOLIO 0432 Madam, yond young fellow swears he will
0433 speak with you. I told him you were sick; he takes
p.
35
0434
on him to understand so much, and therefore0435 140 comes to speak with you. I told him you were
0436 asleep; he seems to have a foreknowledge of that
0437 too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is
0438 to be said to him, lady? He’s fortified against any
0439 denial.
OLIVIA 0440 145Tell him he shall not speak with me.
MALVOLIO 0441 Has been told so, and he says he’ll stand at
0442 your door like a sheriff’s post and be the supporter
0443 to a bench, but he’ll speak with you.
OLIVIA 0444 What kind o’ man is he?
MALVOLIO 0445 150Why, of mankind.
OLIVIA 0446 What manner of man?
MALVOLIO 0447 Of very ill manner. He’ll speak with you,
0448 will you or no.
OLIVIA 0449 Of what personage and years is he?
MALVOLIO 0450 155Not yet old enough for a man, nor young
0451 enough for a boy—as a squash is before ’tis a
0452 peascod, or a codling when ’tis almost an apple. ’Tis
0453 with him in standing water, between boy and man.
0454 He is very well-favored, and he speaks very shrewishly.
0455 160 One would think his mother’s milk were
0456 scarce out of him.
OLIVIA
0457 Let him approach. Call in my gentlewoman.
MALVOLIO 0458 Gentlewoman, my lady calls.He exits.
Enter Maria.
OLIVIA
0459 Give me my veil. Come, throw it o’er my face.
⌜Olivia veils.⌝
0460 165 We’ll once more hear Orsino’s embassy.
Enter ⌜Viola.⌝
VIOLA 0461 The honorable lady of the house, which is she?
p.
37
OLIVIA
0462
Speak to me. I shall answer for her. Your will?VIOLA 0463 Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable
0464 beauty—I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the
0465 170 house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast
0466 away my speech, for, besides that it is excellently
0467 well penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good
0468 beauties, let me sustain no scorn. I am very comptible
0469 even to the least sinister usage.
OLIVIA 0470 175Whence came you, sir?
VIOLA 0471 I can say little more than I have studied, and
0472 that question’s out of my part. Good gentle one,
0473 give me modest assurance if you be the lady of the
0474 house, that I may proceed in my speech.
OLIVIA 0475 180Are you a comedian?
VIOLA 0476 No, my profound heart. And yet by the very
0477 fangs of malice I swear I am not that I play. Are
0478 you the lady of the house?
OLIVIA 0479 If I do not usurp myself, I am.
VIOLA 0480 185Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp
0481 yourself, for what is yours to bestow is not yours to
0482 reserve. But this is from my commission. I will on
0483 with my speech in your praise and then show you
0484 the heart of my message.
OLIVIA 0485 190Come to what is important in ’t. I forgive you
0486 the praise.
VIOLA 0487 Alas, I took great pains to study it, and ’tis
0488 poetical.
OLIVIA 0489 It is the more like to be feigned. I pray you,
0490 195 keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates, and
0491 allowed your approach rather to wonder at you than
0492 to hear you. If you be not mad, begone; if you have
0493 reason, be brief. ’Tis not that time of moon with me
0494 to make one in so skipping a dialogue.
MARIA 0495 200Will you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your way.
VIOLA 0496 No, good swabber, I am to hull here a little
p.
39
0497
longer.—Some mollification for your giant, sweet0498 lady.
⌜OLIVIA⌝ 0499 Tell me your mind.
⌜VIOLA⌝ 0500 205I am a messenger.
OLIVIA 0501 Sure you have some hideous matter to deliver
0502 when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your
0503 office.
VIOLA 0504 It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture
0505 210 of war, no taxation of homage. I hold the olive in
0506 my hand. My words are as full of peace as matter.
OLIVIA 0507 Yet you began rudely. What are you? What
0508 would you?
VIOLA 0509 The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I
0510 215 learned from my entertainment. What I am and
0511 what I would are as secret as maidenhead: to your
0512 ears, divinity; to any other’s, profanation.
OLIVIA 0513 Give us the place alone. We will hear this
0514 divinity. ⌜Maria and Attendants exit.⌝ Now, sir, what
0515 220 is your text?
VIOLA 0516 Most sweet lady—
OLIVIA 0517 A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said
0518 of it. Where lies your text?
VIOLA 0519 In Orsino’s bosom.
OLIVIA 0520 225In his bosom? In what chapter of his bosom?
VIOLA 0521 To answer by the method, in the first of his heart.
OLIVIA 0522 O, I have read it; it is heresy. Have you no more
0523 to say?
VIOLA 0524 Good madam, let me see your face.
OLIVIA 0525 230Have you any commission from your lord to
0526 negotiate with my face? You are now out of your
0527 text. But we will draw the curtain and show you the
0528 picture. ⌜She removes her veil.⌝ Look you, sir, such a
0529 one I was this present. Is ’t not well done?
VIOLA 0530 235Excellently done, if God did all.
OLIVIA 0531 ’Tis in grain, sir; ’twill endure wind and
0532 weather.
p.
41
VIOLA 0533 ’Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white
0534 Nature’s own sweet and cunning hand laid on.
0535 240 Lady, you are the cruel’st she alive
0536 If you will lead these graces to the grave
0537 And leave the world no copy.
OLIVIA 0538 O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted! I will give
0539 out divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be
0540 245 inventoried and every particle and utensil labeled
0541 to my will: as, item, two lips indifferent red; item,
0542 two gray eyes with lids to them; item, one neck, one
0543 chin, and so forth. Were you sent hither to praise
0544 me?
VIOLA
0545 250 I see you what you are. You are too proud.
0546 But if you were the devil you are fair.
0547 My lord and master loves you. O, such love
0548 Could be but recompensed though you were
0549 crowned
0550 255 The nonpareil of beauty.
OLIVIA 0551 How does he love me?
VIOLA 0552 With adorations, fertile tears,
0553 With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.
OLIVIA
0554 Your lord does know my mind. I cannot love him.
0555 260 Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble,
0556 Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth;
0557 In voices well divulged, free, learned, and valiant,
0558 And in dimension and the shape of nature
0559 A gracious person. But yet I cannot love him.
0560 265 He might have took his answer long ago.
VIOLA
0561 If I did love you in my master’s flame,
0562 With such a suff’ring, such a deadly life,
0563 In your denial I would find no sense.
0564 I would not understand it.
p.
43
OLIVIA
0565
270 Why, what would you?VIOLA
0566 Make me a willow cabin at your gate
0567 And call upon my soul within the house,
0568 Write loyal cantons of contemnèd love
0569 And sing them loud even in the dead of night,
0570 275 Hallow your name to the reverberate hills
0571 And make the babbling gossip of the air
0572 Cry out “Olivia!” O, you should not rest
0573 Between the elements of air and earth
0574 But you should pity me.
OLIVIA 0575 280 You might do much.
0576 What is your parentage?
VIOLA
0577 Above my fortunes, yet my state is well.
0578 I am a gentleman.
OLIVIA 0579 Get you to your lord.
0580 285 I cannot love him. Let him send no more—
0581 Unless perchance you come to me again
0582 To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well.
0583 I thank you for your pains. Spend this for me.
⌜She offers money.⌝
VIOLA
0584 I am no fee’d post, lady. Keep your purse.
0585 290 My master, not myself, lacks recompense.
0586 Love make his heart of flint that you shall love,
0587 And let your fervor, like my master’s, be
0588 Placed in contempt. Farewell, fair cruelty.She exits.
OLIVIA 0589 “What is your parentage?”
0590 295 “Above my fortunes, yet my state is well.
0591 I am a gentleman.” I’ll be sworn thou art.
0592 Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions, and spirit
0593 Do give thee fivefold blazon. Not too fast! Soft,
0594 soft!
0595 300 Unless the master were the man. How now?
0596 Even so quickly may one catch the plague?
p.
45
0597
Methinks I feel this youth’s perfections0598 With an invisible and subtle stealth
0599 To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.—
0600 305 What ho, Malvolio!
Enter Malvolio.
MALVOLIO 0601 Here, madam, at your service.
OLIVIA
0602 Run after that same peevish messenger,
0603 The County’s man. He left this ring behind him,
0604 Would I or not. Tell him I’ll none of it.
⌜She hands him a ring.⌝
0605 310 Desire him not to flatter with his lord,
0606 Nor hold him up with hopes. I am not for him.
0607 If that the youth will come this way tomorrow,
0608 I’ll give him reasons for ’t. Hie thee, Malvolio.
MALVOLIO 0609 Madam, I will.He exits.
OLIVIA
0610 315 I do I know not what, and fear to find
0611 Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.
0612 Fate, show thy force. Ourselves we do not owe.
0613 What is decreed must be, and be this so.
⌜She exits.⌝