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The Merry Wives of Windsor - Act 3, scene 1
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The Merry Wives of Windsor - Act 3, scene 1Act 3, scene 1
Scene 1
Synopsis:
Page, Shallow, and Slender join Sir Hugh, who is waiting to fight Dr. Caius. When the Host brings Dr. Caius and Sir Hugh together, the two, prevented from dueling, reconcile in plotting revenge against the Host.
Enter ⌜Sir Hugh⌝ Evans ⌜(with a book and a sword)and⌝ Simple ⌜(carrying Sir Hugh’s gown).⌝
SIR HUGH 1254 I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman
1255 and friend Simple by your name, which
1256 way have you looked for Master Caius, that calls
1257 himself doctor of physic?
SIMPLE 1258 5Marry, sir, the ⌜Petty-ward,⌝ the Park-ward,
1259 every way; Old Windsor way, and every way but
1260 the town way.
SIR HUGH 1261 I most fehemently desire you, you will also
1262 look that way.
SIMPLE 1263 10I will, sir.⌜He exits.⌝
SIR HUGH 1264 Pless my soul, how full of cholers I am, and
1265 trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived
1266 me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his
1267 urinals about his knave’s costard when I have good
1268 15 opportunities for the ’ork. Pless my soul!
⌜(Sings.)⌝
1269 To shallow rivers, to whose falls
1270 Melodious birds sings madrigals.
1271 There will we make our peds of roses
1272 And a thousand fragrant posies.
1273 20 To shallow—
1274 Mercy on me, I have a great dispositions to cry.
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91
⌜(Sings.)⌝1275 Melodious birds sing madrigals—
1276 Whenas I sat in Pabylon—
1277 And a thousand vagram posies.
1278 25 To shallow rivers, to whose falls
1279 Melodious birds sings madrigals.
⌜Enter Simple.⌝
SIMPLE 1280 Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
SIR HUGH 1281 He’s welcome.
⌜(Sings.)⌝
1282 To shallow rivers, to whose falls—
1283 30 Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE 1284 No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
1285 Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
1286 Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
SIR HUGH 1287 Pray you, give me my gown—or else keep it
1288 35 in your arms.
Enter Page, Shallow, ⌜and⌝ Slender.
SHALLOW 1289 How now, Master Parson? Good morrow,
1290 good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice,
1291 and a good student from his book, and it is
1292 wonderful.
SLENDER, ⌜aside⌝ 1293 40Ah, sweet Anne Page!
PAGE 1294 ⌜God⌝ save you, good Sir Hugh!
SIR HUGH 1295 ⌜God⌝ pless you from His mercy sake, all of
1296 you!
SHALLOW 1297 What, the sword and the word? Do you
1298 45 study them both, Master Parson?
PAGE 1299 And youthful still—in your doublet and hose
1300 this raw rheumatic day?
SIR HUGH 1301 There is reasons and causes for it.
PAGE 1302 We are come to you to do a good office, Master
1303 50 Parson.
SIR HUGH 1304 Fery well. What is it?
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93
PAGE
1305
Yonder is a most reverend gentleman who, belike1306 having received wrong by some person, is at
1307 most odds with his own gravity and patience that
1308 55 ever you saw.
SHALLOW 1309 I have lived fourscore years and upward. I
1310 never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning
1311 so wide of his own respect.
SIR HUGH 1312 What is he?
PAGE 1313 60I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the
1314 renowned French physician.
SIR HUGH 1315 Got’s will and His passion of my heart! I had
1316 as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
PAGE 1317 Why?
SIR HUGH 1318 65He has no more knowledge in Hibbocrates
1319 and Galen—and he is a knave besides, a cowardly
1320 knave as you would desires to be acquainted
1321 withal.
PAGE, ⌜to Shallow⌝ 1322 I warrant you, he’s the man should
1323 70 fight with him.
SLENDER, ⌜aside⌝ 1324 O, sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW 1325 It appears so by his weapons. Keep them
1326 asunder. Here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter Host, ⌜Doctor⌝ Caius, ⌜and⌝ Rugby.
⌜Caius and Sir Hugh offer to fight.⌝
PAGE 1327 Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
SHALLOW 1328 75So do you, good Master Doctor.
HOST 1329 Disarm them, and let them question. Let them
1330 keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
⌜Page and Shallow disarm Caius and Sir Hugh.⌝
DOCTOR CAIUS, ⌜to Sir Hugh⌝ 1331 I pray you, let-a me speak
1332 a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not
1333 80 meet-a me?
SIR HUGH, ⌜aside to Caius⌝ 1334 Pray you, use your patience.
1335 ⌜(Aloud.)⌝ In good time.
DOCTOR CAIUS 1336 By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog,
1337 John ape.
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95
SIR HUGH, ⌜aside to Caius⌝
1338
85Pray you, let us not be1339 laughing-stocks to other men’s humors. I desire
1340 you in friendship, and I will one way or other
1341 make you amends. ⌜(Aloud.) By Jeshu,⌝ I will knog
1342 your urinal about your knave’s cogscomb.
DOCTOR CAIUS 1343 90Diable! Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarteer,
1344 have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not,
1345 at de place I did appoint?
SIR HUGH 1346 As I am a Christians soul, now look you, this
1347 is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine
1348 95 Host of the Garter.
HOST 1349 Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh,
1350 soul-curer and body-curer!
DOCTOR CAIUS 1351 Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
HOST 1352 Peace, I say! Hear mine Host of the Garter. Am
1353 100 I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I
1354 lose my doctor? No, he gives me the potions and
1355 the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my
1356 Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs and the
1357 no-verbs. ⌜(To Caius.) Give me thy hand, terrestrial;
1358 105 so. (To Sir Hugh.)⌝ Give me thy hand, celestial;
1359 so. Boys of art, I have deceived you both. I
1360 have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
1361 mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be
1362 the issue. ⌜(To Page and Shallow.)⌝ Come, lay their
1363 110 swords to pawn. ⌜(To Caius and Sir Hugh.)⌝ Follow
1364 me, ⌜lads⌝ of peace, follow, follow, follow.
⌜Host exits.⌝
SHALLOW 1365 ⌜Afore God,⌝ a mad Host. Follow, gentlemen,
1366 follow.
SLENDER, ⌜aside⌝ 1367 O, sweet Anne Page!
⌜Shallow, Page, and Slender exit.⌝
DOCTOR CAIUS 1368 115Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a
1369 de sot of us, ha, ha?
SIR HUGH 1370 This is well! He has made us his vloutingstog.
1371 I desire you that we may be friends, and let
p.
97
1372
us knog our prains together to be revenge on this1373 120 same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of
1374 the Garter.
DOCTOR CAIUS 1375 By gar, with all my heart. He promise
1376 to bring me where is Anne Page. By gar, he deceive
1377 me too.
SIR HUGH 1378 125Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you,
1379 follow.
⌜Sir Hugh, Caius, Simple, and Rugby exit.⌝